TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls

Anita Schott
Born in the wilds of Northern Virginia to German nobility (the von Schott family), Anita Schott had zebra stripes in her blood from an early age. She would get her brothers angry at each other just so she could officiate their fights. At family dinners, she would make sure that no one got more than his or her fair share of food. She even made her own mother sit in the "penalty box" (aka the pantry) for burning a batch of cookies. In junior high, she joined the debate team to hone her skills. She was later removed from the debate team and expelled from school for punching an opponent in the eye. Her hobbies are crime scene forensics, bird watching, guerrilla gardening, and drinking beer. She lives in South Austin with six cats, a snake, a snapping turtle, and a boyfriend who watches his every move to avoid being penalized.

Dax Wilphall
Dax Wilphall, son of Holy Roller preacher, youngest of five children, never found satisfaction in that life. Besides, those damn pews were hard. To please his father, however, Dax marched the straight and narrow. An honor student, his efforts were simply good cover for favorite pastimes: lighting Cherry Bombs in the teachers' lounge, and greasing the basketball court of the Hurtzhugh Hellcats before games. After graduation, he became roadie for a washtub band, the Rhinestone Cowgirls. On a band stop in Cowpen, South Dakota, in a Deliverance-like saloon, The Ax Will Fall, Dax lost bad at the card game Killer. Money blown, running for his life, he was rescued by a vintage Thunderbird auto club, the Putas del Fuego. He rode with some hellions headed for Austin and discovered the roller derby revival. Looking back, he felt his life was always pointing him here. His dad always said, "He'll be late for the resurrection." Dax just never knew Papa was talking about the resurrection of derby.

Dee Toxin
Some people say she stumbled onto a freight train in a drunken stupor one night, leaving Canada forever. Some say her alocholic tendencies caused both her family and her friends to disown her. In all the legends, one thing is for certain: Dee had thirst for Canadian beer that could not be quenched. After sampling what America had to offer, she found that nothing compared to the brew of her homeland. She knew that she couldn't spend her life living in the past, so she decided to give up beer forever. Problem is the "cold turkey" thing didn't work out so well. Canadian beer would always be in her blood, and no matter how much she tried to put the memories of Molson and Labatt's out of her head, they would never truly go away. She fell off a red-eye flight into Austin one day in the middle of a six-week, cross-eyed bender and decided to stay. Unsatisfied with the beer in the Lone Star State, her BAC gets lower every day. As long as she lives in Texas, it seems she will forever be Dee Toxin.

El Pelon
Saw derby, and from the first I loved it. Joined the ref crew and my derby buddy says, "are you f***ing nuts?!" I took it as a sign that I was getting into something great. Never had so much fun.

Masterblader
The young Masterblader watched derby in the Land of 1,000 Lakes in the 60's and hung a picture of Raquel in her Bay City Bombers jersey on his door. He kept the flame alive as a pre-teen in Dallas who saved his allowance to spend Saturdays skating and playing pinball at the Thunderbird rink. In Austin, he became the skating poster dude and kids summer skate camp guy, who was of course right there at the very first roller derby bouts screaming till he was hoarse. When the Universe of Derby split, La Loca/Gunsmoka, who had built Fritz his own flame to fly for her at bouts, asked him to please join the league as a referee. With the blessing of his wife and three daughters, Fritz became "Masterblader," a combination of three elements: the "Master Blaster" made famous in Mad Max's Thunderdome; Rollerblade (his sponsor); and the disdain with which rollergirls treat inline skates and refs. The Masterblader owes his talents as a ref to the his mentor and friend Greg "G-Spot" Rollie, the Chicago old-school derby skater who adopted TXRD in late 2003. The Masterblader has retained some self respect, though he will always be known as "that clown who mops the track at halftime."

Mike Hunt
Mike Hunt is entering his second year as referee for TXRD. Mike Hunt is a longtime fan of Roller Derby and has, in a short time, gained a great deal of respect for some reason. Seriously, no one knows why. Some speculate it is some sort of magic or gypsy spell. He quite possibly could have picked up these skills from his years as a drifter in the slums and back alleys of Suffolk County, England. Regardless, this inexplicable respect led Mike Hunt to win the Best Ref 2007 award at last year's Rollerball, and he won't shut up about it because he's a diva. At the close of last season, Mike Hunt submitted a request to the league to modify his traditional ref uniform with additions of an actual mink coat and shiny, golden sneakers. The request was immediately denied. Mike Hunt's younger brother, York, is also a TXRD official because he can't BREATHE without riding his big bro's coattails. Mike Hunt did not write this bio, I assure you. Mike Hunt is hairy, but well groomed. Had to sneak one of those in there.

Penaltina
Penaltina is entering her first season as a TXRD referee. Her journey to TXRD is one truly of destiny. She spent most of her young life training in the spectacular world of ballet, and she was good at it: VERY good. Almost TOO good. So good, in fact, that she could not stand it if anyone around her was not up to par. She began to call "penalties" on other dancers for their violations of ballet "rules" that in fact did not exist -- she would simply make them up on the spot. Eventually, the ballet powers-that-be were forced to inform her that ballet was not a sport, but rather a dancy thing that people did for fun or exercise and not for victory. The other dancers began to mock her, saying things like "You suck!" or "Ballerina -- more like PENALTINA!" So, there you go. Bet you didn't see that coming. Regardless, with ballet now dead to her, Penaltina went in search of something to fill the void. Years went by with nothing...nothing but pain. Then one day she came across the Hunt brothers at a local watering hole talking about meaningless crap, and they began to tell her about TXRD. That's when the magic happened. "Hey, you should be a ref", said Mike Hunt. "OK", said Penaltina. I didn't say it was a good story.

That Guy

York Hunt

TXRD LONESTAR ROLLERGIRLS REFEREES