LONESTAR ROLLERGIRLS - HOLY ROLLERS

HOLY ROLLERS : HADES LADY

Name: Hades Lady
Number: 86
Position: Blocker, Co-Captain

Hades Lady was born the bastard daughter of a seditioner deep in the bowels of Hell. By her 4th birthday, the King of the Underworld could no longer tolerate her dissent and constant troublemaking, so he gave the order and Hell spat her out. As punishment for this inconvenience, Hades was placed in foster care with an extremely well-adjusted couple. They tried to make her sit still and wear pink frilly dresses and were no fun at all. But she had her revenge.

Her first year of public school was a disaster. Using all the tricks of temptation, she soon had an underground craps game on the playground. She blackmailed the cafeteria ladies and enjoyed free desert-only lunches. She became the first student in the history of Pleasant Hill Elementary to light a kindergarten teacher on fire. She was expelled from both her school and her home, a pattern that would repeat for some years.

At fifteen, Hades decided she'd had enough of authority figures and went out on her own. Wandering the earth for some years, she participated in gang warefare, military coups, numerous assaults, and, of course, serial arson. Eventually, it all caught up with her. She was facing Grand Larceny charges in Texas and made a Houdini-esque escape from the courtroom. Upon her attempt to lie low in a warehouse on the east side of Austin, she fell in with the Holy Rollers. She claims that roller derby is the best time you can have without committing a felony.

Though she has the face of an angel and the ass of Jennifer Lopez, she was, is, and always will be HADES LADY.

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