The Putas Have a Fever, and the Only Prescription is More Cowbell
It’s time for the country-fried Rhinestone Cowgirls to face off against the devilishly dangerous Putas del Fuego! Come watch as these two teams skate their hearts out in an all-out brawl for victory. Will the Putas burn up the track, or will they get wrangled in by the Rhinestone Cowgirls? Cheer loud and proud for your favorite team as these lovely ladies battle it out!

When: Saturday, January 30, 2010
Where: Austin Convention Center
Time: Doors at 6:00, Bout at 7:00
Tickets: $15 at the door, $13 from frontgatetickets.com or any of our lovely ticket vendors, $10 from a rollergirl. Kids under 12 are free!

Experience the Ultra-Vivid ‘Rise of the Abominations’ with
TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls Night at House of Torment & Illusion Manor
Join us on Sunday, October 25 for “TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls Night” at House of Torment and Illusion Manor! We’ve arranged for a special night for our friends and fans to celebrate the Halloween season along with a special $2 discount. Just use the promotional code “Rollergirl” when buying tickets online or say “Rollergirl” at the box office to get your discount.
Adventuresome and daring souls of all ages are invited to step into the post-apocalyptic world of nightmarish overlord Mr. Creep and his House of Torment and House of Torment as an epic struggle for survival unfolds in a vivid wasteland where civilization has collapsed and fallen prey to biological warfare, social anarchy, and widespread bedlam. With no law or prevalent power to preside, the country has degenerated into ongoing conflict between the fear-mongering Sgt. Graves and a stealth Tactical Ops Unit as well as legions of mutant inhabitants, known as The Infected, The Contagium, and the growing contingent of The Abomination uprising.
As an unparalleled Halloween destination recognized as the best by Fangoria, The Wall Street Journal, MSN, The Travel Channel, Austin American-Statesman, the Austin Chronicle, and others, House of Torment and its companion experience— Illusion Manor—offers residents and visitors from across the country an immersive thrill that goes far beyond a series of dimly lit surprises. Mind-blowing designs, effects, stories and characters await.
WHAT: House of Torment: Rise of the Abominations
Illusion Manor: Where reality ends and Nightmares Begin
WHERE: Permanent Facility in the Northeast corner of the Highland Mall Site
523 Highland Mall Blvd Austin TX 78752, 512-407-9449
WHEN: “TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls Night” on Sunday, October 25th
Open 7 pm – midnight, October 15 – November 1
WEB: www.houseoftorment.com and on www.facebook.com/HouseofTorment, www.twitter.com/houseofTorment, and MySpace
TIX: Normally $14.99, $19.99 for Combo Pass w/Illusion Manor;
Tickets are sold in 30-minute “Showtimes” so no long lines!

The Cherry Bombs, undefeated in the regular season, and the Hellcats, losing only one regular season bout (which was to the Cherry Bombs by ONE point), met again to battle it out for the 2009 Calvello Cup Championship. After rousing introductions including black capes sported by the Hellcats and individual weapons of choice held by the Cherry Bombs, the bout was off and rolling.
The Bombs jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead after the jam by Rocky Casbah. Lucy Cannon scored another four points for the Cherry Bombs after Honey Homicide sent Hellcat jammer Dixie Sanchez over the rail. The next few jams were very even for both teams: Daisy Mae Damage and Purr Anna battled each other for one point each; Kate or Dye and Catalac skated neck and neck for four points each. Cherry Chainsaw picked up a minor penalty and won the resulting tug of war against Kinky Kowalski. Rice Rice Baby edged out Dirty Blonde, two points to three, after Honey Homicide laid another strong hit on Dirty. Dixie Sanchez drew a minor penalty that led her to a two lap duel with Polly Urethane. She won the duel. After a two point jam by Rocky Casbah, the score at the end of the first quarter was: Cherry Bombs 16, Hellcats 6.
This ten point deficit seemed to light a fire under the Hellcats, who started the second quarter fierce and focused. Catalac opened the quarter with a grand slam five point jam. Curly Suicide followed that up with another four points. Glitterotica committed a minor penalty, and the penalty wheel landed on a pillow fight against Apeschit. Though Glitter appeared to win the battle, the crowd gave the victory to the Cherry Bombs. In the next jam, Miso Vicious beat out Kate or Dye, four points to two. Catalac then picked up another three points for the Hellcats. In doing so, she picked up a minor penalty and was soundly beaten in an arm wrestle by Rocky Casbah. Daisy Mae Damage shut out Dixie Sanchez, three to nothing, but Miso Vicious picked up a major penalty. Dixie Sanchez was able to capitalize on the penalty and take those three points right back. Kate or Dye picked up two more Cherry Bomb points after Polly Urethane railed Purr Anna. There were then penalties all over the place: Polly got a major; Dirty Blonde, a minor. Dirty Blonde defeated Lucy Cannon in the long jump. On the major penalty reskate, Purr Anna outscored Kate, three to one, to end the first half. The score: Hellcats 26, Cherry Bombs 23.
The second half of this bout began with a holdover major penalty on Dirty Blonde. Rocky Casbah ended up calling off the first jam defensively. Curly Suicide came out and continued the Hellcat effort with two points. Catalac added another four points while the Hellcat defense (led by Dirty Blonde, Purr Anna, and Glitterotica) did a great job tying up the Cherry Bomb jammers in the pack. Purr Anna won a two lap duel against Rice Rice Baby. Miso Vicious added yet another three points for her team. Lucy Cannon and Catalac skated to a three point draw. During the next jam, Cherry Chainsaw went down with a serious leg injury (which would turn out to be a broken ankle). Bout play was delayed while the paramedics tended to Cherry’s injury. She was wheeled off the track to the sound of the crowd chanting her name, and she flashed the rock and roll devil horns from her stretcher. The team captains agreed to move play to the top of the 4th Quarter.
Rocky Casbah, who the Cherry Bombs seemed to be saving for the end of the bout, started off with a big six point jam. Kate or Dye added two points, and the momentum seemed to be shifting to the Cherry Bombs. Rocky and Catalac then skated to a one point draw. Honey Homicide drew a pushcart penalty for a minor, which the Hellcats won. Miso Vicious capitalized on this momentum shift and scored four more points for the ladies in pink. Lucy Cannon answered back with one point, which was then canceled out on the next jam by Catalac, who also earned one point. Curly Suicide scored three more points for the Hellcats. Dirty Blonde and Allison Chains broke out into a fight. On the next jam, Lucy Cannon tackled Miso Vicious, and the refs stopped the jam. On the final jam of the bout, Rocky Casbah scored two points, but it would not be enough. By a score of 44 to 37, the 2009 Calvello Cup Champions were the HELLCATS!!!!
Congratulations to the skaters in pink and black! This was a close, well skated bout. A GREAT game for all of the skaters! Best wishes and speedy recoveries to both Cherry Chainsaw and Alison Chains (who was injured on the last jam). To our retiring skaters: Cherry Chainsaw, Candi Sniper, Polly Urethane and Dyna Dash for the Cherry Bombs and Dirty Blonde, Knottie Knoxville, and Ms. Amerikill for the Hellcats, THANK YOU for your dedication! You will be missed!
See you all at the Thunderdome for the 2010 Season!
Lady A

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

TXRD LONESTAR ROLLERGIRLS
P.O. Box 49256 | Austin, TX 78765 | info@txrd.com
 
 
Contact:
Michelle Durbin
misshell@txrd.com
512.487.0770
 
 
 
September 28, 2009-Austin, TX   The Hellcats will battle against the undefeated Cherry Bombs for the 2009 Calvello Cup Championship, but the real fight of the evening will be on behalf of boobies! The TXRD—Lonestar Rollergirls will hold a silent auction in support of the Keep-a-Breast Foundation during their final bout of the season on Saturday, October 10 at the Austin Convention Center.
 
On the auction block will be several plaster casts of skaters’ breasts that have been painted by local artists including Rodger Roundy, Michael Sieben, Cindy ‘Crash’ Raschke, Tim Sorensen, Stacey Martin,  Kate ‘Kate or Dye’ Wissman, Heather ‘Daisy Mae Damage’ Roach, and Aubrey ‘Lacy Bones’ Hooser, amongst many others. We would like to extend our thanks to Jerry’s Artarama for their gracious plaster donation and to Michelle ‘Miss Hell’ Durbin for coordinating the breast casting parties.
 
The Keep-A-Breast Foundation is a non-profit organization seeking to increase breast cancer awareness among young people. Breast cast auctions are their primary fundraisers and use artistic expression to keep youth educated.
 
Well-timed with the premiere of Drew Barrymore’s upcoming new movie, Whip It, which was inspired by TXRD, the Lonestar Rollergirls will be hitting up the town for various promotional opportunities. Discounted skater tickets and the chance to chill with some rollergirls will be available at the following places, dates and times:
 
Tuesday, September 29 @ AMC Barton Creek, 7:30 pm
Thursday, October 1 @ 1711 S. Congress, between Front Gate Tickets and the fire station, 5:00pm
Thursday, October 1 @ Alamo Ritz, Midnight
Friday, October 2 @ Regal Cinemas Gateway 16, 6pm -10pm (2 screenings)
Friday, October 2 @ Alamo Ritz, 6pm
Saturday, October 3 @ Regal Cinemas Westgate, 6pm -10pm (2 screenings)
Weird Wednesday, October 7 @ Alamo Ritz – Unholy Rollers, Midnight
 
TXRD—Lonestar Rollergirls is a skater-owned and operated sports and entertainment company based in Austin, Texas. Founded in 2001 by four She-E-Os, the Lonestar Rollergirls are local favorites that perfectly blend the “Keep Austin Weird” attitude with a free-wheeling pursuit of fun, athleticism, and competition.
 
Will the indestructible Cherry Bombs take home the Cup, or will the hearty Hellcats claim the championship title? Catch some boobies AND a one-way ticket to titillating all-girl banked-track roller derby!
 
The Austin Convention Center is located at 500 E. Cesar Chavez. Doors will open at 6 p.m., and the first whistle blows at 7 p.m. For ticket information, visit www.txrd.com or ask a rollergirl.

Both the Cherry Bombs and the Rhinestone Cowgirls entered Sunday’s night bout with a lot on the line.  The Cherry Bombs were seeking their first EVER undefeated season.  If the Rhinestone Cowgirls were able to pull off this victory, there would be a three-way tie for first place between the Cherry Bombs, Rhinestone Cowgirls, and the Hellcats.  The energy in the convention center was charged, and the crowd expected a great bout.
The first jam of the night featured a match-up that would be repeated many times:  Rocky Casbah versus Kategory 5.  Rocky scored two points, and Kategory 5 scored one.  The evenly matched skaters would battle it out in many very fast jams over the night.  Kate or Dye scored four points in the next jam to help the Cherry Bombs jump out in front.  A minor on Kategory 5 led to a pushcart penalty, in which the team of Rocky Casbah and Lucy Cannon took a point away from the Rhinestone Cowgirls.   A grand slam jam by Daisy Mae Damage put the Cherry Bombs five points farther ahead.  Lucy Cannon and Natorious skated a very close jam in which each scored three points.  The Cherry Bombs won both a pillow fight and a relay race to keep up their dominance of the penalties.  A very fast jam between Kate or Dye and Miss Canada was stopped when a fight broke out between Diablo and Polly Urethane (another recurring theme of the evening).  Kategory 5 scored three points in a jam against Rice Rice Baby.  On the reskate after a major penalty on Mummy Dearest, Kat 5 scored another three points to put the Rhinestones back into the hunt.  Two more points from Rocky Casbah brought the score at the end of the first quarter to Cherry Bombs 17, Rhinestone Cowgirls 5.

A couple of close jams started off the second quarter.  Kategory 5 sped to four points while Daisy Mae Damage picked up two right behind her.  Rocky Casbah raced to score two points over Rollergazm’s one point.  Mummy Dearest picked up another major penalty and on the reskate, Kate or Dye broke free to score a grand slam jam.  Ali Mony defeated Polly Urethane in an arm wrestle to break the Cherry Bombs’ streak of penalty victories.  Mummy Dearest jammed for two points for the Cowgirls.  After a couple of scoreless jams, Rice Rice Baby managaed to eke out one point for the Bombs.  Kategory 5 then blasted through the pack to pick up amother grand slam jam to end the first half.  Score at the half:  Cherry Bombs 27, Rhinestone Cowgirls 20.

The Cherry Bombs returned for the second half with renewed intensity and focus:  the Rhinestone Cowgirls had come back a bit too close for comfort.  Rocky Casbah scored two points and then quickly called off the jam before Kategory 5 could score.  Kate or Dye put up four points, and Rocky Casbah again scored four points while holding Kategory 5 to one  (a terrific takeout block by Honey Homicide was a huge help in that jam).  A minor penalty on Natorious drew a two lap duel penalty.  Moko Loco subbed in and skated against Honey Homicide.  Honey won using some clever strategy to take two points away from the Cowgirls.  After a one point jam from Daisy Mae Damage and another one point jam for Natorious, Kategory 5 picked up a minor penalty.  She also drew a two lap duel, which skated against Rocky Casbah.  This was much more engagement in this duel, which was ultimately won by Rocky Casbah.  Kate or Dye then scored four more points for the Cherry Bombs.  Cherry Chainsaw lost a tug of war penalty to Ali Mony.  Kategory 5 scored a point; Lucy Cannon scored two.  Cherry Chainsaw then beat the snot out of Rollergazm in a pillow fight (Cherry was looking furious before the fight even began.)  Rocky Casbah and Kategory 5 skated to another four/four draw.  It was also announced that Polly Urethne went over the 100 blocks for the season mark in this quarter:  CONGRATULATIONS Polly!  The score at the end of the third quarter:  Cherry Bombs 47, Rhinestone Cowgirls 24.

Daisy Mae Damage and Kategory 5 faced off to start the fourth quarter:  Daisy Mae scored three points, Kategory 5, two.  Rocky Casbah picked up another point for the Cherry Bombs.  Daisy Mae Damage scored two points over Mummy Dearest.  After a major penalty on Cherry Chinsaw (her third minor), neither skater was able to score on the reskate.  Moko Loco defetaed Honey Homicide in a pillow fight.  Kategory 5 scored four points over Kate or Dye’s two.  Rice Rice Baby scored another point for the Bombs.  Diablo was then ejected for getting another fight with Polly Urethane.  A couple more scoreless jams followed.  The final jam of the bout was between Daisy Mae Damage and Kategory 5:  each skater scored three points, bringing the final score to Cherry Bombs 60, Rhinestone Cowgirls 33.
This was great bout to watch.  Neither team let up in their intensity at any point during the bout.  The blocking and defense were fierce for both teams.  Rollergazm and Kategory 5 did very difficult duties for the Rhinestone Cowgirls by skating nearly every other jam in the second half.  The relentless offense and tough defense of the Cherry Bombs eventually wore down the Cowgirls.  Congratulations to the Cherry Bombs on their undefeated season!
The next bout will be between the Holy Rollers and las Putas del Fuego on Sunday, August 16.  See you at the Thunderdome!
Lady A

On Sunday night, the Hellcats bouted against the Holy Rollers.  The Hellcats were finally healthy, but the Holy Rollers were plagued by injuries and forced to skate with several alternates.  However, one should never count out the will of either of these teams.

     Rookie Damsel Distresser, displaying great improvement in speed and skill, drew first blood for the Holy Rollers by scoring two points.  Miso Vicious scored a grand slam five point jam, and Curly Suicide added two more to move the Hellcats back into the lead.  Former Cherry Bomb Evilynn Carnate lined up many times on the jam line for the Holy Rollers.  She scored two points, and Dixie Sanchez scored four in a tightly contested jam.  The blocking powers of Knottie Knoxville, Dirty Blonde, Anita Confess, and Smarty Pants were all on display for this bout.  Kinky Kowalsky helped out the Hellcats on the penalties by winning an arm wrestle versus Jesta Menace and a pillow fight against Punky Bruiser.  Catalac and Smarty Pants faced off in a spectacular two lap duel.  They seemed to be leg wrestling at the start line and did not begin skating for some time.  Catalac got Smarty Pants into a headlock and skated a lap while still holding on to Smarty.  She eventually whipped herself off of Smarty and beat her to the finish line to win the duel. Four jam points from Miso Vicious, three points from Smarty Pants, one from Dixie Sanchez, and four more from Evilynn Carnate brought the first quarter score to Hellcats 16, Holy Rollers 11.

     After a scoreless jam between Curly Suicide and Damsel Distresser, Miso Vicious was able to break free and score three more points for the Hellcats.  Dixie Sanchez added another five with a grand slam jam.  But every time the Hellcats would begin to pull away, the Holy Rollers would find a way to shrink the gap.  Damsel Distresser sped out of the pack to score a four point jam.  Jesta Menace added two more, and Smarty Pants (skating and blocking fiercely throughout this bout) scored four more.  Miso Vicious was able to break a small scoring drought for the Hellcats by blasting through the pack to gain five points.  Damsel Distresser countered with five of her own to end the first half.  The score at the half:  Hellcats 29, Holy Rollers 26.

     In the first jam of the first quarter, Curly Suicide and Damsel Distresser fought to a three point draw.  Miso Vicious scored four points to make the Hellcat lead more comfortable, and several scoreless jams followed.  On a reskate after a major penalty on Cathy Lixx, Miso Vicious took advantage of the Holy Rollers being down one skater to score four more points. On the next jam, Catalac scored one point to Damsel Distresser’s three.  Kinky Kowalsky picked up her third minor penalty, leading to a reskate.  On the reskate, Catalac stayed right on Damsel Distresser’s heels and each scored four points.  Curly Suicide then scored a grand slam jam.  Miso Vicious and Smarty Pants battled to score two points apiece.  The score at the end of the third quarter:  Hellcats 52, Holy Rollers 38.

     In the fourth quarter, Damsel Distresser tried to get some momentum going for the Holy Rollers with a two point score, but Miso Vicious answered back with four more points for the Hellcats.  Three points from Dixie Sanchez widened the gap further.  Jesta Menace won a pillow fight for the Holy Rollers, but Curly Suicide scored another two points to put the lead even more out of reach for the Rollers.  There were then several major penalties: Dixie Sanchez, Sindra Dee, and Punky Bruiser all spent time in the penalty box.  In another hard fought jam, Curly Suicide scored four points to Damsel Distresser’s three.  In the final jam, blocker Sindra Dee went to the jam line for the Hellcats.  This would be her last bout before moving on in pursuit of higher education.  She scored a grand slam five point jam, bringing the final score to Hellcats 68, Holy Rollers 43. 

Next bout–July 26th–Cherry Bombs versus the Rhinestone Cowgirls.  See you at the Thunderdome!

Lady A

FRIDAY, JULY 17TH @ RED7. 9PM – 2AM.

Come challenge your favorite rollergirl to an arm wrestle and witness the banked track beauties pillowfight to the death!

2 live bands! Rainbow Dragon and Through the Trees
8 teams, 7 fights!  $5 at door.
Schedule:
10:00– Rainbow Dragon
11:00–Pillow Fighting Competition/Arm Wrestling
12:30–Through the Trees
 
RULES:
 Single Elimination Bracket. First eliminations feature 4 fights, next eliminations feature 2 fights, then the Championship Title. 4 one minute round fights, except championship which is one 2 minute fight.
1 point for hits to the legs, 2 points for hits to the body, 3 points for hits to the head, 10 points for knockdowns, -10 point for stepping off the mat
Lose 10 points if you use anything else to hit your opponent.
Two hands at all times on the pillow.
Cannot tag out until round is up.
No beating/fighting when someone is down.
Teams with the most points move on to next round.

See you there!!

Congratulations to the San Diego Derby Dolls for winning the 2009 Battle on the Bank II tournament!! And thanks soooo much to everyone who skated, supported, reffed, worked the tourney (or helped out in any way!)! Couldn’t have done it without you!!

TXRD F*&@ing LOVES YOU!

Here’s a brief recap:

1st) San Diego Derby Dolls
2nd) L.A. Derby Dolls
3rd) Team Legit
4th) TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls

Other scores:
First prelim:
1st+2nd=Total
Team Legit: 74+49=123
AZ Derby Dames: 8+10=18

Second prelim game:
San Diego Derby Dolls:57+97=154
Vegas Renegades: 0+0=0
San Diego skater Taryn Hearts suffered a broken clavicle in this one.

Third prelim game:
TXRD All-Scar Army: 59+51=110
Hurricane Alley Roller Derby: 0+7=7

Fourth prelim game:
L.A. Derby Dolls Ri-ettes: 91+94=185
Red Dirt Rebellion Rollergirls: 1+1=2

First consolation game:
AZDD Lady Lux: 23+50=73
Vegas Renegades: 15+9=24

Second consolation game:
Red Dirt Rebellion Rollergirls: 28+26=54
Hurricane Alley Roller Derby: 12+20=32

First semi-final:
San Diego Derby Dolls: 28+16=44
Team Legit: 12+19=31

Second semi-final:
L.A. Derby Dolls Ri-ettes: 39+25=64
TXRD All-Scar Army: 18+17=35

Third place:
Team Legit: 27+18+14+17=76
TXRD All Scar Army: 16+16+23+3=58

Championship:
San Diego Derby Dolls: 23+24+19+12=78
L.A. Derby Dolls Ri-ettes: 20+16+24+16=76