The Cherry Bombs, undefeated in the regular season, and the Hellcats, losing only one regular season bout (which was to the Cherry Bombs by ONE point), met again to battle it out for the 2009 Calvello Cup Championship. After rousing introductions including black capes sported by the Hellcats and individual weapons of choice held by the Cherry Bombs, the bout was off and rolling.
The Bombs jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead after the jam by Rocky Casbah. Lucy Cannon scored another four points for the Cherry Bombs after Honey Homicide sent Hellcat jammer Dixie Sanchez over the rail. The next few jams were very even for both teams: Daisy Mae Damage and Purr Anna battled each other for one point each; Kate or Dye and Catalac skated neck and neck for four points each. Cherry Chainsaw picked up a minor penalty and won the resulting tug of war against Kinky Kowalski. Rice Rice Baby edged out Dirty Blonde, two points to three, after Honey Homicide laid another strong hit on Dirty. Dixie Sanchez drew a minor penalty that led her to a two lap duel with Polly Urethane. She won the duel. After a two point jam by Rocky Casbah, the score at the end of the first quarter was: Cherry Bombs 16, Hellcats 6.
This ten point deficit seemed to light a fire under the Hellcats, who started the second quarter fierce and focused. Catalac opened the quarter with a grand slam five point jam. Curly Suicide followed that up with another four points. Glitterotica committed a minor penalty, and the penalty wheel landed on a pillow fight against Apeschit. Though Glitter appeared to win the battle, the crowd gave the victory to the Cherry Bombs. In the next jam, Miso Vicious beat out Kate or Dye, four points to two. Catalac then picked up another three points for the Hellcats. In doing so, she picked up a minor penalty and was soundly beaten in an arm wrestle by Rocky Casbah. Daisy Mae Damage shut out Dixie Sanchez, three to nothing, but Miso Vicious picked up a major penalty. Dixie Sanchez was able to capitalize on the penalty and take those three points right back. Kate or Dye picked up two more Cherry Bomb points after Polly Urethane railed Purr Anna. There were then penalties all over the place: Polly got a major; Dirty Blonde, a minor. Dirty Blonde defeated Lucy Cannon in the long jump. On the major penalty reskate, Purr Anna outscored Kate, three to one, to end the first half. The score: Hellcats 26, Cherry Bombs 23.
The second half of this bout began with a holdover major penalty on Dirty Blonde. Rocky Casbah ended up calling off the first jam defensively. Curly Suicide came out and continued the Hellcat effort with two points. Catalac added another four points while the Hellcat defense (led by Dirty Blonde, Purr Anna, and Glitterotica) did a great job tying up the Cherry Bomb jammers in the pack. Purr Anna won a two lap duel against Rice Rice Baby. Miso Vicious added yet another three points for her team. Lucy Cannon and Catalac skated to a three point draw. During the next jam, Cherry Chainsaw went down with a serious leg injury (which would turn out to be a broken ankle). Bout play was delayed while the paramedics tended to Cherry’s injury. She was wheeled off the track to the sound of the crowd chanting her name, and she flashed the rock and roll devil horns from her stretcher. The team captains agreed to move play to the top of the 4th Quarter.
Rocky Casbah, who the Cherry Bombs seemed to be saving for the end of the bout, started off with a big six point jam. Kate or Dye added two points, and the momentum seemed to be shifting to the Cherry Bombs. Rocky and Catalac then skated to a one point draw. Honey Homicide drew a pushcart penalty for a minor, which the Hellcats won. Miso Vicious capitalized on this momentum shift and scored four more points for the ladies in pink. Lucy Cannon answered back with one point, which was then canceled out on the next jam by Catalac, who also earned one point. Curly Suicide scored three more points for the Hellcats. Dirty Blonde and Allison Chains broke out into a fight. On the next jam, Lucy Cannon tackled Miso Vicious, and the refs stopped the jam. On the final jam of the bout, Rocky Casbah scored two points, but it would not be enough. By a score of 44 to 37, the 2009 Calvello Cup Champions were the HELLCATS!!!!
Congratulations to the skaters in pink and black! This was a close, well skated bout. A GREAT game for all of the skaters! Best wishes and speedy recoveries to both Cherry Chainsaw and Alison Chains (who was injured on the last jam). To our retiring skaters: Cherry Chainsaw, Candi Sniper, Polly Urethane and Dyna Dash for the Cherry Bombs and Dirty Blonde, Knottie Knoxville, and Ms. Amerikill for the Hellcats, THANK YOU for your dedication! You will be missed!
See you all at the Thunderdome for the 2010 Season!
Lady A

Hellcats vs Rhinestone Cowgirls— Sept. 12, Playoff bout
 
The Hellcats and the Rhinestone Cowgirls met on Saturday, September 12th to decide who would face off against the Cherry Bombs in the Calvello Cup championship.  Both teams came pumped up with energy and ready to skate.
Miso Vicious started the Hellcats off with a bang by scoring a grand slam five point jam.  The next two jams were much tighter, with Curly Suicide scoring three points to Kategory 5’s one point.  Dixie Sanchez and Miss Canada stayed hot on each other’s heels to score four and three points, respectively.  The Rhinestones showed their fighting spirit by picking up two major penalties (one on Natorious and one on Mummy Dearest) before the first minor penalty was called for the bout.  Kinky Kowalsky won an arm wrestle in the first of what would be a dominant penalty night for her.  Rollergazm picked up three points to even things out a bit for the Cowgirls.  The next jams would continue to be very close, with both jammers fighting their way through tough packs and staying on stride with each other.  Catalac scored one point to Evilynn Carnit’s zero; Kategory 5 scored four over Dixie Sanchez’s three; and Curly Suicide and Miss Canada skated a two point draw.  The Rhinestones were victorious in both a relay race penalty and a long jump (performed gracefully by Kategory 5).  Miso Vicious added one more point for the Hellcats in the last jam of the quarter, bringing the score to: Hellcats 17, Rhinestone Cowgirls 12.
Miso Vicious again started the second quarter for the Hellcats, scoring two points and shutting out Miss Canada.  Kategory 5 answered back with a four point jam.  Miso Vicious stepped to the jam line again and scored an unprecedented 9 POINT JAM!!!!!  This surpassed Chola’s old record of eight points in a single jam.  Clearly this was a career night for Miso Vicious.  On the next jam, Curly Suicide made a sweet move through the pack to pick up three points over Miss Canada’s two.  Kinky Kowalsky won a pillow fight for the Hellcats.  Dixie Sanchez added her own five point grand slam jam.  Miso Vicious then scored another six points for her team.  This lady was on fire!  Kinky Kowalsky won a tug of war minor penalty.  Catalac scored three points to Miss Canada’s one.  A scoreless jam between Dirty Blonde and Rollergazm ended a dominant second quarter by the Hellcats.  Score at the half:  Hellcats 45, Rhinestone Cowgirls 17.
The third quarter began with one point scored by Curly Suicide.  Miso Vicious and Kategory 5 then skated to a very tough four/four draw.  Kinky Kowalsky won yet another tug of war for her team.  Kategory 5 scored another four points for the Rhinestone Cowgirls, while Dixie Sanchez scored just one point.  Mummy Dearest picked up her second major penalty, and Catalac won an arm wrestling penalty.  Purr Anna, a strong defensive force for the Hellcats, went down with a mild ankle sprain that would keep her out of the rest of the bout.  On the next jam, Miso Vicious was on her way to a big score when she was tackled by Miss Canada.  Miss Canada, not surprisingly, picked up a major penalty.  On the reskate, Miso scored six points.  On that jam, Diablo picked up a minor penalty.  This led to the most epic two lap duel ever, skated between Diablo and Curly Suicide.  The lead on this duel changed at least four times; Diablo was ahead just before the finish line when she lost her footing and fell.  Curly Suicide got past her for the win.  Amazing duel!!!!  Two more close jams followed: Kategory 5 scored two points over Catalac’s one; Dirty Blonde scored three points over Miss Canada’s one.  Score at the end of the third quarter:  Hellcats 62, Rhinestone Cowgirls 27.
Knottie Knoxville and Rollergazm started the fourth quarter at the jam line.  Curly Suicide and Skate Wolf went down for a prolonged fight.  Knox and Rollergazm passed by them several times, with Knox scoring nine points in the jam and Rollergazm scoring four.  The Hellcats were clearly calling off the big guns somewhat and giving some other skaters their chance at jamming.  Moxie Rotten and Kategory 5 faced off, with Kategory 5 picked up a five point grand slam.  A major penalty on Dixie Sanchez (her third minor) led to a reskate, where Kat 5 picked up four more points for her team.  Miss Canada was hurt on the next jam; a major penalty was called on Knottie Knoxville.  On the reskate, Miso Vicious scored two points for the Hellcats.  Kategory 5 won a pillow fight with Mona Littlemore.  Miss Amerikill and Kategory 5 faced off, with Kat 5 scoring another four points, and Miss Amerikill scoring one.  Kinky Kowalsky won another arm wrestle penalty.  Catalac scored two points jamming against Mummy Dearest, and Kategory 5 scored four points against Mona Littlemore.  On the final jam, Miss Canada scored a big nine points for her team.  But these points would not be enough.  The final score:  Hellcats 86, Rhinestone Cowgirls 47.
This sets up a thrilling Calvello Cup: the Cherry Bombs vs the Hellcats.  Both of these teams want it bad!  When they met during the regular season, the bout was decided by one point on the last jam.  Break out your pink or your green, and join us on October 10.  See you at the Thunderdome!
Lady A

Two undefeated teams, the Cherry Bombs and the Hellcats, entered the Thunderdome for this Sunday’s TXRD roller derby bout. Only one team would remain so at the end of the evening. Would it be last year’s Calvello Cup runner-up, the Hellcats? Or would it be the hungry, finally healthy Cherry Bombs? The Convention Center was filled with intensity and dedicated fans for both teams.

The Cherry Bombs jumped out to an early lead with three points from Rocky Casbah. Lucy Cannon added three more (with Purr Anna hot on her tail scoring one for the Hellcats). A full jam by Daisy Mae Damage brought the score to Cherry Bombs 10, Hellcats 1. A minor penalty on Dixie Sanchez resulted in a pillow fight penalty. Kinky Kowalsky tagged in to fight Alison Chains, but lost in a very close fight. The two point deduction sent the Hellcats back into a negative score. The next jam between Rocky Casbah and Curly Suicide was called off in a defensive move by the Cherry Bombs (this would be repeated multiple times throughout the bout). A tug of war penalty on Honey Homicide was won by Kinky Kowalsky of the Hellcats. Miso Vicious contributed three points to the Hellcats total and Catalac added two. Rookie Rice Rice Baby scored three points, bringing the score at the end of the first quarter to Cherry Bombs 12, Hellcats 4.

The second quarter began with a penalty on Dixie Sanchez. The Cherry Bombs won the relay race penalty to cost the Hellcats another point. A messy jam between Rice Rice Baby and Curly Suicide ended with a major on Cherry Chainsaw. On the reskate, Curly Suicide scored a full jam to help jump start the Hellcat offense. Rocky Casbah answered with one point, and Lucy Cannon scored three points two jams later. Miso Vicious answered with a full jam. A minor penalty on Hellcat Moxie Rotten spun another relay race penalty on the wheel, which the Cherry Bombs again won. During the next jam between Rocky Casbah and Purr Anna, a major penalty was called on Catalac. During the reskate, Lucy Cannon at pivot cleared the Hellcat pack for Rocky, who was able to score a five point grand slam jam. Kate or Dye scored three points in the next jam to end the first half. At halftime, the score was Cherry Bombs 24, Hellcats 10.

Both teams adjusted their strategy at halftime. The Cherry Bombs switched over to a more defensive mode of play, while the Hellcats adjusted their pack play to better assist their jammers. The first jam was very tight between Rocky Casbah and Curly Suicide. Curly was ahead of the pack, but Rocky was able to call the jam off in a defensive maneuver because Curly had stepped off the inside of the track. Miso Vicious scored a full jam the next time out for the Hellcats. A jam between Lucy Cannon and Curly Suicide ended with a major on Dixie Sanchez (who did some extensive blocking and pivot work in this bout). On the reskate, Lucy Cannon scored a grand slam five points. Several scoreless jams followed, showcasing some top notch blocking from Knottie Knoxville (in her first bout back from retirement) and Cherry Chainsaw. Dixie Sanchez broke through the pack and scored five points for the Hellcats to rev up their scoring momentum. Curly Suicide scored another four points and it seemed that the tide had really begun to turn towards the Hellcats. Rocky Casbah scored three points to grab some momentum back for the Cherry Bombs. At the end of the third quarter, the score was Cherry Bombs 32, Hellcats 23.

The fourth quarter started with a penalty on Polly Urethane. In her two lap duel against TiNutz, Polly used a last second whip/tackle/block to propel herself across the finish line and save the point. In the next jam between Lucy Cannon and Curly Suicide, a fight erupted and the jam was called off. Hellcat manager Johnny Stranger was then ejected from the bout, and clipboards were thrown. Miso Vicious scored another full jam. A minor penalty on Knottie Knoxville went to the arm wrestling table, where Knox defeated Polly Urethane. The next jam went scoreless, as neither Lucy Cannon nor Curly Suicide were able to get through a very tough pack. Knottie Knoxville won another arm wrestling penalty, this one against Cherry Chainsaw (both arm wrestling legends). Later in the quarter, Catalac scored two points to bring the Hellcats ever closer to the Cherry Bombs. Another jam between Rocky Casbah and Catalac saw Rocky score three points and Catalac score two. This brought the score to Cherry Bombs 34, Hellcats 33. The last jam of the bout was between Lucy Cannon and Miso Vicious. The Cherry Bomb blockers were able to hold Miso back in the pack, and the final score would remain Cherry Bombs 34, Hellcats 33. The finish was huge! The crowd was screaming and totally involved in the action on the track.

This bout was interesting and used some unexpected strategy. The Cherry Bombs capitalized on a surprising early lead to put themselves in control of a lot of the bout. The Hellcats made the decision to primarily use Curly Suicide, Miso Vicious, and Catalac as their main jammers while keeping Dixie Sanchez, Purr Anna, and Knottie Knoxville doing a lot of defensive work (all three of whom have the potential to be offensive threats as well). When these two teams meet again, look out: all bets are off! Both teams showed terrific athleticism, heart, and careful use of strategy.

Next bout–the Rhinestone Cowgirls versus las Putas del Fuego on May 31 at the Austin Convention Center. See you at the Thunderdome!

Lady A

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Ali Mony

$10,000/month

The TXRD Hellcats and las Putas del Fuego slugged it out old school in Sunday night’s roller derby bout.  The Putas were looking for their first victory of the season, and the Hellcats were looking to continue their march to the Calvello Cup.  Curly Suicide and Lynnie Bruise began the first jam of the night, with Curly scoring one point for the Hellcats.  This jam quickly established a couple of patterns that would recur throughout the night: fast pack speed, low scores, and brutally tough blocking.  Miso Vicious and Curly Suicide defeated Titz McGee and Lynnie Bruise in a pushcart penalty that actually set the Putas back into a negative score.  Purr Anna broke through with a 3 point jam that began the scoring momentum for the Hellcats.  Curly Suicide added another two points, aided by a massive hit on Lynnie Bruise from Glitterotica.  Several scoreless jams followed as the fast pack speed continued.  At many times, the bout almost looked like a foot race.  Dixie Sanchez broke the scoring drought with a full jam, and Curly Suicide added three more points to the board.  At the end of the first quarter, the score was Hellcats 12, Putas 0.
The second quarter began with two major penalties: one on Holly Peno from the end of the first quarter and one on Chicle during the reskate.  Dixie Sanchez made the most of the Putas losing one blocker and skated a full jam.  La Princesa made her first score of the night (two points) to Miso Vicious’s four points.  La Princesa was also a major blocking factor in this bout.  She skated down several Hellcat jammers, keeping them from gaining lead jammer status with some impressive displays of athleticism. In the following jam, Purr Anna threw a strong block on Chicle to get Curly Suicide through the pack, but to no avail.  A strong hit from Crybaby caused Purr Anna to get behind the pack in the next jam and allowed Heine Dancer to put up two more points for the Putas.  Crybaby was then called for a penalty and had to face Kinky Kowalsky in an arm wrestle.  Kinky won without even breaking a sweat.  Maya Mayhem next scored three points after Curly Suicide was sent flying over the rail with a ferocious block by La Princesa.  Catalac kicked into high gear for the Hellcats and scored her first point of the evening.  The first half ended with a fight between Curly Suicide and Maya Mayhem.  The score at the half:  Hellcats 22, Putas del Fuego 6.
Fights and hard hits would turn out to be what defined the second half of this bout.  The half began with three scoreless jams.  A hard fought, fast jam between Purr Anna and Chicle ended with three Hellcat points and two Puta points.  Curly Suicide overcame some more tough blocks by La Princesa to add two more to the Hellcats total.  Heine Dancer (tagged in for Joann Thrax) took away a Hellcat point after winning a long jump penalty over Moko Loco.  In the following jam, Purr Anna had a huge takedown of Heine Dancer, which resulted in Purr Anna’s first ever major penalty.  Chicle illegally took out Catalac in the next jam (Catalac was injured) and earned a major penalty.  A fight broke out between some of the Hellcats and the Flamers (the Putas Jeerleaders) over an ill-timed attempt to rile up the crowd for the Putas while an injured Catalac was still being examined on the track.  After that dust cleared, the third period ended with two scoreless jams.  The score at the end of the third quarter:  Hellcats 26, Putas del Fuego 8.
The scoring drought continued into the fourth quarter until La Princesa broke through with a full jam to add five points to the Putas.  Curly Suicide tried to answer back with a point of her own.  During the next jam, a fight broke out between Moko Loco and La Princesa.  Joann Thrax got the penalty and defeated Lacy Bones in a pillow fight.  The next jam got very messy; another fight broke out, this one between Heine Dancer and Miss Amerikill.  Dirty Blonde (managing the team instead of skating because of an injured knee) also got involved, and both Heine Dancer and Dirty Blonde were ejected from the bout.  Subsequently, during the next jam between Curly Suicide and La Princesa, Heine Dancer threw a stuffed unicorn (a Putacorn, officially) onto the track from the sidelines, interrupting the jam.  Catalac then jammed against Chicle, who scored a point.  Catalac picked up a major.  Purr Anna took Catalac’s place at the jammer line, and Chicle scored three more points, bringing the final score to Hellcats 27, las Putas del Fuego 15.
This bout was less offensive than defensive as the Hellcat jammers seemed to take their foot off the gas a bit in the second half (Dixie Sanchez and Curly Suicide were both speeding through the pack almost at will early in the bout) and work on blocking instead of scoring.  The always scrappy Putas hung in there and fought (literally) to the finish. Rookies for both teams showed great improvement.  The next bout will be between longtime rivals the Holy Rollers and the Rhinestone Cowgirls on May 3.  See you at the Thunderdome!
Lady A

On Sunday, March 8th, the Hellcats skated against the Rhinestone Cowgirls in the second bout of the TXRD season.  Both teams came to this bout with desire, drive,and determination.  If this bout is any indication, the 2009 season is going to be a nail biter up until the end.
Kategory 5 started the bout off with a bang for the Rhinestone Cowgirls, scoring a five point grand slam jam.  Dixie Sanchez answered right back with four points of her own.  This pattern would continue all night long.  Both teams played very physical games:  there were a lot of falling skaters, hard hits, and called penalties.  The Hellcats made excellent use of their extremely deep jamming rotation; the Rhinestone Cowgirls focused on defending the pack and opening up a path for their power jammer, Kategory 5.  The Rhinestones also used their penalties to advantage:  Truckstop Trixie scrapped her way to a pillow fight victory, and Miss Canada won a two lap duel on a last moment belly flop over the line.  In the last jam of the quarter, Purr Anna added three points to put the Hellcats ahead 11 to 9.
The second quarter began with some penalty business from the previous jam.  Both Mummy Dearest and Truckstop Trixie had to sit out during a reskate of the jam due to major penalties.  Although Ali Mony and Natorious valiantly tried to block in the pack, Purr Anna scored a five point Grand Slam in a jam that hugely turned the momentum in favor of the Hellcats.  The back and forth scoring continued–Kategory 5 would add one, Dixie Sanchez would score two.  Rollergazm would score one, Kategory 5 would score three, then Dixie Sanchez scored four.  The Rhinestones did an excellent job shutting down Curly Suicide, usually a big scoring threat for the Hellcats.  Dixie Sanchez and Purr Anna really stepped up and took leadership as scorers in her place.  At the end of the first half, the score was Hellcats 22, Rhinestone Cowgirls 16.

1st half–Hellcat Scorers:
Dixie Sanchez-14 points
Purr Anna–8 points
Dirty Blonde–2 points
Miso Vicious–1
Catalac–0 points
Curly Suicide– 0 points

Rhinestone Cowgirls Scorers:
Kategory 5–14 points
Rollergazm–3 points
Miss Canada–0 points
Truckstop Trixie–0 points
Skate Wolf–0 points

The second half began much like the first half:  Kategory 5 scored two points to Curly Suicide’s zero to start the action rolling.  After a scoreless jam, Kategory 5 and Dirty Blonde both incurred minor penalties.  They spun a two lap duel on the penalty wheel.  Each skater tried to pants the other as she made her way around the track.  Kategory 5 at the last moment whipped herself off of Dirty Blonde’s spankies and won the duel.  A particularly nasty tripping call on Rhinestone rookie Al B. Nasty resulted in a major penalty and a reskate.  Purr Anna was once again able to capitalize on a penalty and scored 3 unanswered points for the Hellcats.  A minor penalty on Mummy Dearest spun an arm wrestle penalty.  Rookie Kinky Kowalsky destroyed Mummy Dearest for the Hellcats.  (She was also impressive in an earlier tug of war penalty–this girl is a beast!) For the next jam, Glitterotica refocused all of her blocking efforts on Kategory 5.  She drew a major penalty, and Dixie Sanchez was able to further extend the Hellcat scoring run with two points.  Miss Canada answered back with four points, while Catalac was being blocked out hard by Mummy Dearest.  Mummy Dearest picked up another major penalty, but Miss Canada called off the reskate before any points were scored.  At the end of the third quarter, the score was Hellcats 26, Rhinestone Cowgirls 21.
By the start of the fourth quarter, the Convention Center was humming with the intensity of the crowd.  Neither team showed any signs of quitting or giving up the fight.  Penalties were even more frequent, and the pack action was more intense.  A major on Kategory 5 from the last jam led to yet another reskate.  Moko Loco was able to score four very important points for the Hellcats.  She picked up a major for pushing, but no points were scored in the reskate.  Kategory 5 then had a big jam where she scored four points.  A minor penalty on Mummy Dearest led to an exciting relay race penalty, that the Hellcats won after both teams dropped the baton.  Purr Anna scored a point for the HC, Dixie Sanchez scored three more, then Kategory 5 scored four for the RC.  Dixie Sanchez faced off against Kategory 5 again–Dixie scored one and Kategory scored two.  Major penalties were called on both Dirty Blonde and Diablo; Kategory 5 added two more points in the reskate to bring the score to Hellcats 35, Rhinestone Cowgirls 32 with one jam left to skate.  The crowd was on its feet, screaming for both teams.  Purr Anna faced off against Rollergazm.  Rollergazm was held back in the pack while Purr Ann fought her way to the front and called off the jam to end the bout.  Final score:  Hellcats 35, Rhinestone Cowgirls 32.
This bout was thrilling and intense throughout.  Both teams played with a ton of heart–no one could say that they didn’t leave everything they had out on the track.  Both started their season with big statements:  neither of these teams can be counted out of the Calvello Cup chase by a long shot.  Next bout–Sunday, March 28th–the Cherry Bombs take on the Holy Rollers.  See you at the Thunderdome!!!!

Lady A

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