The Cherry Bombs, undefeated in the regular season, and the Hellcats, losing only one regular season bout (which was to the Cherry Bombs by ONE point), met again to battle it out for the 2009 Calvello Cup Championship. After rousing introductions including black capes sported by the Hellcats and individual weapons of choice held by the Cherry Bombs, the bout was off and rolling.
The Bombs jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead after the jam by Rocky Casbah. Lucy Cannon scored another four points for the Cherry Bombs after Honey Homicide sent Hellcat jammer Dixie Sanchez over the rail. The next few jams were very even for both teams: Daisy Mae Damage and Purr Anna battled each other for one point each; Kate or Dye and Catalac skated neck and neck for four points each. Cherry Chainsaw picked up a minor penalty and won the resulting tug of war against Kinky Kowalski. Rice Rice Baby edged out Dirty Blonde, two points to three, after Honey Homicide laid another strong hit on Dirty. Dixie Sanchez drew a minor penalty that led her to a two lap duel with Polly Urethane. She won the duel. After a two point jam by Rocky Casbah, the score at the end of the first quarter was: Cherry Bombs 16, Hellcats 6.
This ten point deficit seemed to light a fire under the Hellcats, who started the second quarter fierce and focused. Catalac opened the quarter with a grand slam five point jam. Curly Suicide followed that up with another four points. Glitterotica committed a minor penalty, and the penalty wheel landed on a pillow fight against Apeschit. Though Glitter appeared to win the battle, the crowd gave the victory to the Cherry Bombs. In the next jam, Miso Vicious beat out Kate or Dye, four points to two. Catalac then picked up another three points for the Hellcats. In doing so, she picked up a minor penalty and was soundly beaten in an arm wrestle by Rocky Casbah. Daisy Mae Damage shut out Dixie Sanchez, three to nothing, but Miso Vicious picked up a major penalty. Dixie Sanchez was able to capitalize on the penalty and take those three points right back. Kate or Dye picked up two more Cherry Bomb points after Polly Urethane railed Purr Anna. There were then penalties all over the place: Polly got a major; Dirty Blonde, a minor. Dirty Blonde defeated Lucy Cannon in the long jump. On the major penalty reskate, Purr Anna outscored Kate, three to one, to end the first half. The score: Hellcats 26, Cherry Bombs 23.
The second half of this bout began with a holdover major penalty on Dirty Blonde. Rocky Casbah ended up calling off the first jam defensively. Curly Suicide came out and continued the Hellcat effort with two points. Catalac added another four points while the Hellcat defense (led by Dirty Blonde, Purr Anna, and Glitterotica) did a great job tying up the Cherry Bomb jammers in the pack. Purr Anna won a two lap duel against Rice Rice Baby. Miso Vicious added yet another three points for her team. Lucy Cannon and Catalac skated to a three point draw. During the next jam, Cherry Chainsaw went down with a serious leg injury (which would turn out to be a broken ankle). Bout play was delayed while the paramedics tended to Cherry’s injury. She was wheeled off the track to the sound of the crowd chanting her name, and she flashed the rock and roll devil horns from her stretcher. The team captains agreed to move play to the top of the 4th Quarter.
Rocky Casbah, who the Cherry Bombs seemed to be saving for the end of the bout, started off with a big six point jam. Kate or Dye added two points, and the momentum seemed to be shifting to the Cherry Bombs. Rocky and Catalac then skated to a one point draw. Honey Homicide drew a pushcart penalty for a minor, which the Hellcats won. Miso Vicious capitalized on this momentum shift and scored four more points for the ladies in pink. Lucy Cannon answered back with one point, which was then canceled out on the next jam by Catalac, who also earned one point. Curly Suicide scored three more points for the Hellcats. Dirty Blonde and Allison Chains broke out into a fight. On the next jam, Lucy Cannon tackled Miso Vicious, and the refs stopped the jam. On the final jam of the bout, Rocky Casbah scored two points, but it would not be enough. By a score of 44 to 37, the 2009 Calvello Cup Champions were the HELLCATS!!!!
Congratulations to the skaters in pink and black! This was a close, well skated bout. A GREAT game for all of the skaters! Best wishes and speedy recoveries to both Cherry Chainsaw and Alison Chains (who was injured on the last jam). To our retiring skaters: Cherry Chainsaw, Candi Sniper, Polly Urethane and Dyna Dash for the Cherry Bombs and Dirty Blonde, Knottie Knoxville, and Ms. Amerikill for the Hellcats, THANK YOU for your dedication! You will be missed!
See you all at the Thunderdome for the 2010 Season!
Lady A

Two undefeated teams, the Cherry Bombs and the Hellcats, entered the Thunderdome for this Sunday’s TXRD roller derby bout. Only one team would remain so at the end of the evening. Would it be last year’s Calvello Cup runner-up, the Hellcats? Or would it be the hungry, finally healthy Cherry Bombs? The Convention Center was filled with intensity and dedicated fans for both teams.

The Cherry Bombs jumped out to an early lead with three points from Rocky Casbah. Lucy Cannon added three more (with Purr Anna hot on her tail scoring one for the Hellcats). A full jam by Daisy Mae Damage brought the score to Cherry Bombs 10, Hellcats 1. A minor penalty on Dixie Sanchez resulted in a pillow fight penalty. Kinky Kowalsky tagged in to fight Alison Chains, but lost in a very close fight. The two point deduction sent the Hellcats back into a negative score. The next jam between Rocky Casbah and Curly Suicide was called off in a defensive move by the Cherry Bombs (this would be repeated multiple times throughout the bout). A tug of war penalty on Honey Homicide was won by Kinky Kowalsky of the Hellcats. Miso Vicious contributed three points to the Hellcats total and Catalac added two. Rookie Rice Rice Baby scored three points, bringing the score at the end of the first quarter to Cherry Bombs 12, Hellcats 4.

The second quarter began with a penalty on Dixie Sanchez. The Cherry Bombs won the relay race penalty to cost the Hellcats another point. A messy jam between Rice Rice Baby and Curly Suicide ended with a major on Cherry Chainsaw. On the reskate, Curly Suicide scored a full jam to help jump start the Hellcat offense. Rocky Casbah answered with one point, and Lucy Cannon scored three points two jams later. Miso Vicious answered with a full jam. A minor penalty on Hellcat Moxie Rotten spun another relay race penalty on the wheel, which the Cherry Bombs again won. During the next jam between Rocky Casbah and Purr Anna, a major penalty was called on Catalac. During the reskate, Lucy Cannon at pivot cleared the Hellcat pack for Rocky, who was able to score a five point grand slam jam. Kate or Dye scored three points in the next jam to end the first half. At halftime, the score was Cherry Bombs 24, Hellcats 10.

Both teams adjusted their strategy at halftime. The Cherry Bombs switched over to a more defensive mode of play, while the Hellcats adjusted their pack play to better assist their jammers. The first jam was very tight between Rocky Casbah and Curly Suicide. Curly was ahead of the pack, but Rocky was able to call the jam off in a defensive maneuver because Curly had stepped off the inside of the track. Miso Vicious scored a full jam the next time out for the Hellcats. A jam between Lucy Cannon and Curly Suicide ended with a major on Dixie Sanchez (who did some extensive blocking and pivot work in this bout). On the reskate, Lucy Cannon scored a grand slam five points. Several scoreless jams followed, showcasing some top notch blocking from Knottie Knoxville (in her first bout back from retirement) and Cherry Chainsaw. Dixie Sanchez broke through the pack and scored five points for the Hellcats to rev up their scoring momentum. Curly Suicide scored another four points and it seemed that the tide had really begun to turn towards the Hellcats. Rocky Casbah scored three points to grab some momentum back for the Cherry Bombs. At the end of the third quarter, the score was Cherry Bombs 32, Hellcats 23.

The fourth quarter started with a penalty on Polly Urethane. In her two lap duel against TiNutz, Polly used a last second whip/tackle/block to propel herself across the finish line and save the point. In the next jam between Lucy Cannon and Curly Suicide, a fight erupted and the jam was called off. Hellcat manager Johnny Stranger was then ejected from the bout, and clipboards were thrown. Miso Vicious scored another full jam. A minor penalty on Knottie Knoxville went to the arm wrestling table, where Knox defeated Polly Urethane. The next jam went scoreless, as neither Lucy Cannon nor Curly Suicide were able to get through a very tough pack. Knottie Knoxville won another arm wrestling penalty, this one against Cherry Chainsaw (both arm wrestling legends). Later in the quarter, Catalac scored two points to bring the Hellcats ever closer to the Cherry Bombs. Another jam between Rocky Casbah and Catalac saw Rocky score three points and Catalac score two. This brought the score to Cherry Bombs 34, Hellcats 33. The last jam of the bout was between Lucy Cannon and Miso Vicious. The Cherry Bomb blockers were able to hold Miso back in the pack, and the final score would remain Cherry Bombs 34, Hellcats 33. The finish was huge! The crowd was screaming and totally involved in the action on the track.

This bout was interesting and used some unexpected strategy. The Cherry Bombs capitalized on a surprising early lead to put themselves in control of a lot of the bout. The Hellcats made the decision to primarily use Curly Suicide, Miso Vicious, and Catalac as their main jammers while keeping Dixie Sanchez, Purr Anna, and Knottie Knoxville doing a lot of defensive work (all three of whom have the potential to be offensive threats as well). When these two teams meet again, look out: all bets are off! Both teams showed terrific athleticism, heart, and careful use of strategy.

Next bout–the Rhinestone Cowgirls versus las Putas del Fuego on May 31 at the Austin Convention Center. See you at the Thunderdome!

Lady A

–

Ali Mony

$10,000/month

The TXRD Cherry Bombs and Holy Rollers met Sunday night at the Austin Convention Center in a bout that was full of grudges and history. The Holy Rollers were looking to defend their 2008 Calvello Cup championship, and the Cherry Bombs were looking to defeat the Holy Rollers for the first time in the team’s history. This season’s Holy Rollers have been hard hit by injuries and other woes; fully half of the team’s roster was made up of alternates. Missing players included: Smarty Pants, Karma, Cathy Lixx, and Hades Lady, with Punky Bruiser now acting as manager, which left holes in both offensive and defensive attacks. The Cherry Bombs, for a change, were healthy, organized, and ready to roll.

On the first jam of the bout, Cherry Chainsaw picked up what would be the first of many major penalties for both teams. Rocky Casbah, Lucy Cannon, and Rice Rice Baby then helped the Cherry Bombs jump to a quick lead with back to back to back full jams. Sacralicious responded with a full jam for the Holy Rollers. Kate or Dye added two more points for the Bombs while skating against rookie alternate Lady Libertine, who was railed by Polly Urethane. Two minor penalties resulted in a two lap duel between Lucy Cannon and Moko Loco (tagging in for Mz. Behavin’). Lucy Cannon managed to recover from a vicious takedown and win the two lap duel, taking two points away from the Holy Rollers. Damsel Distresser and Sacralicious put back a few more points for the Holy Rollers, bringing the score at the end of the first quarter to Cherry Bombs 18, Holy Rollers 4.
The second quarter began with a major penalty on Honey Homicide. Sacralicious scored a full jam on the reskate. During some confusion, due to a time clock issue, Lucy Cannon injured her ankle, which took her out of the rest of the bout. After a full jam by Rocky Casbah, there were several scoreless jams in which the jammers called them off in defensive maneuvers. During a jam between Daisy Mae Damage and Sacralicious, Moko Loco committed a major penalty that got her ejected from the bout. On the reskate, both Daisy Mae Damage and Sacralicious scored two points. A grand slam jam by Rocky Casbah at the end of the half brought the score to Cherry Bombs 30, Holy Rollers 11.
The leading scorers in the first half were Rocky Casbah (CB) and Sacralicious (HR). The leading blockers for the half were Polly Urethane (CB) and Anita Confess (HR).
The third quarter had a lot of back and forth point scoring. Sacralicious got a full jam for the Holy Rollers; Daisy Mae Damage got one for the Cherry Bombs, and Horrorshow scored three for the Rollers. Sacralicious won a long jump to save points for the Holy Rollers. Rice Rice Baby and Rocky Casbah picked up back to back grand slams to extend the Cherry Bomb lead to 46 over the Holy Rollers 20 at the end of the third quarter.
The fourth quarter was full of fights, defensive calls, and major penalties. (The Cherry Bombs had clearly called off the dogs a bit at this point. This did not mean the Holy Rollers were going down easily.) Honey Homicide picked up her second major penalty. Daisy Mae Damage and Lady Libertine scored 3 points for their teams. Honey Homicide served up a third major penalty and was accordingly ejected from the bout. Alison Chains won a pillow fight over ReNeePalm. Hispanic Panic scored a full jam for the Holy Rollers in a last effort to contribute. She was then ejected for pushing a referee. The final jam featured a speed race between Rocky Casbah and Sacralicious that was thrilling: the two jammers were skating so fast that they ended up wiping out on a curve. The final score: Cherry Bombs 53, Holy Rollers 29 in this first ever victory for the Cherry Bombs over the Holy Rollers. The Cherry Bombs displayed excellent communication between their blockers while in the pack, and their scoring threat proves to be both highly skilled and deep in numbers. The Holy Rollers, while missing the contributions of their absent players, did pick up some valuable experience for their rookies, especially Damsel Distresser, who saw a lot of action at the jam line.
Next bout: Sunday, April 19, with the Hellcats taking on las Putas del Fuego.
Lady A